So my valve cover is trying to out do what's going on the Gulf of Mexico right now. The first valve cover seal lasted about 4 months - then a drip turned into it puking all over my header and creating a great smoke show (leak out the back - half moon seal was new but not good). Then parked for a week. Changed the gasket yesterday with new half moon seal (it was nice and felt rubbery - the other one did not). Then today after a quick trip to the car wash to clean off the previous puke - I get home and check under the hood. Guess what. Leaking out the front.

Here's what I did. New gasket glued onto the cover with contact cement. Silicon gasket maker applied around the edge of the cover where it meets the gasket. All the way around. I let that sit for an hour. Installed cover dry over a freshly cleaned mating surface. Torqued in three passes from the centre out.

What do I have to do to seal this f-ing thing up? I could just silicone the entire thing but I'd rather not.

What do you guys do?

Just wondering if you bent the valve cover holes back up a bit when you changed the seal? I know that these tend to deform and loose clamping force around the entire seal.

something is warped like andy is saying?

replaced tons and never had problems, never use any kind of sealer, contact cement, gasket crap. Maybe all that stuff you're using is somehow keeping the gasket from fitting properly (assuming everything else is straight).

I checked it for straightness and it looks fine. I cleaned it all up with acetone and brake clean. Then I coated the cover with blue RTV and following the instructions, put it on finger tight, then let it set for one hour then gave it another 1/2 turn or so until tight. Funny, the first gasket was fine at the front, and leaked at the back...this one is the reverse. We'll test it tomorrow night. I'm going to hate myself if I ever need to get that valve cover off.

The gray aftermarket valve cover gaskets shrink badly and need to be re-torqued. I don't care for them. Very papery.

The volvo green ones expand, which is nice and are nice and gummy. Of all the cars I worked on and saw in the JY, cars with the old school green volvo ones were always dry, though they often had other maintenance done well. I took that as a sign. I only goop the ends (er..."corners" if you will...like the green book suggests) and half-moon on early cars and full moon on late cars. Sometimes I will rub a very thin bit of honda-bond into them, but not the volvo ones. Some of the elring ones or victor-reinz ones are not bad and have some actual goop and glue in the gasket to seal it instead of the gray ones that shrink and wick terribly (think toilet paper).

The crank case vent can be problematic on those 81-82 N/A cars and cause some significant leaking on things that really wouldn't leak if the breather were breathing. That tube swells with age as it goes into the k-jet unit, shrinking the ID of the tube as it swells against the port in the fuel dist unit. The vac fitting on the flame trap gums up, the fitting on the intake for intake manifold vacuum gums up. I clean all that junk out and I usually eliminate the flame trap to be honest. I fully realize that someone put it there for a reason, but I've also enlarged the hole on the breather nipple (thing that holds the flame trap) and been driving N/A volvos without them for years with no leaking or oozing without babysitting and haven't had my cars suddenly ignite the crankcase...YMMV. I dislike my cars leaking/oozing.

Best of luck with it in this day and age with OEM parts for early cars being expensive/unobtainum and aftermarket/knockoffs being of seemingly ever worse quality.

I forget what you have for PCV on that engine, Craig...

Get the o.e.m gasket and check your breather.
(If you have to resort to silicone you probably have a venting or a major blow by issue.
Put a balloon over the dipstick hole and tighten it and see if it inflates..

Hmmm, I'm going to go looking for a balloon - maybe I should check with the neighbour kids to see if they can spare a condom! I replaced all parts of the PCV system from the hoses to the flame trap and all associated parts when it was out. It looked like a weep - not an explosion.

I'd echo what James was saying with respect to the gasket quality. These were both red and hard and not very flexible. We'll see what happens.